Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Randomize
