Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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