She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
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