remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
two words: eviction party
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
God gave him joint rollers for hands
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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