I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
