Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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