there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
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