Christians are straight up FREAKS
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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