Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Last time i carry you out of a forest
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
