So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
