Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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