Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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