arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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