Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
