i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Randomize
