Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
