Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
