im gay
i know
yea but for you.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
The Olympian is in my bed
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
