Me. At least after what I've been through.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
