I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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