he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
