sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
