Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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