JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
