its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
