I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
