what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
