my mouth tastes like poor choices
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
