I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
