just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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