i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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