are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
