At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
just tell him i said nine months
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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