What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
