Cold hands, warm shart.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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