I just made out with a guy for $7.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
