i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
