Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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