halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
