i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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