Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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