Don't you send me to vm
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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