I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
