i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
