what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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