They have a pepper shaker for pot.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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