i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
