I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
