all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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