Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
