I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
