so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
