...so i touched it.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Randomize
