So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
