i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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