She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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