Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
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