Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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