I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
