we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
