I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
